It’s the end of January. Do you still remember your New Year’s resolutions? For this week’s newsletter, we wanted to share a great piece of insight from Aaron Steinberg, our very own COR Community Manager (who also happens to be an awesome life coach). He writes:
The morning of December 31st, I hopped in the shower happily unresolved. We all know resolutions don’t work, so why would I make them? But as I soaped up my holiday belly, I started to wonder if I would ever be in the shape I wanted to be in.
“Ugh, maybe I should make some resolutions,” I thought. “Sure, resolutions tend to be ineffective in the long term. But for the first days, weeks, or months, they do actually work. But does that make them worth it?”
Maybe you’ve had this same back and forth with resolutions?
This line of thinking made me frustrated with my inability to change. But, as my head was spinning, a new realization about the way I view and use excuses popped into my head. It’s already helped me transform some things, and I think it could help you too.
It’s the end of January. Do you still remember your New Year’s resolutions? For this week’s newsletter, we wanted to share a great piece of insight from Aaron Steinberg, our very own COR Community Manager (who also happens to be an awesome life coach). He writes:
The morning of December 31st, I hopped in the shower happily unresolved. We all know resolutions don’t work, so why would I make them? But as I soaped up my holiday belly, I started to wonder if I would ever be in the shape I wanted to be in.
“Ugh, maybe I should make some resolutions,” I thought. “Sure, resolutions tend to be ineffective in the long term. But for the first days, weeks, or months, they do actually work. But does that make them worth it?”
Maybe you’ve had this same back and forth with resolutions?
This line of thinking made me frustrated with my inability to change. But, as my head was spinning, a new realization about the way I view and use excuses popped into my head. It’s already helped me transform some things, and I think it could help you too.
What’s the difference between the beginning of the year and the middle of the year?
On July 1st, we are sort of just us, and that allows us to drift into our patterns. But on January 1st, we are engaged in a pursuit and we are bigger than our defenses. Who we are, and are becoming, now really matters, and we’re willing to sacrifice whatever we weren’t willing to on July 1st, and we have a socially acceptable reason for abstaining from things or adjusting how we spend our time.
But, eventually we get tested. Over time, the importance of our newself fades and is replaced with normal life, and breaking our status quo in normal life becomes too much work and too vulnerable to share with others. Tons and tons of completely valid reasons to not keep up with our resolutions, to not do what is best for us over the long term, enter the picture.
My three biggest issues are physical health, spending money, and being lazy with marketing my coaching practice. During my Socratic shower, I realized that the thousand things presented to me every day that perpetuate these issues in normal life are both excuses and valid reasons.
Viewing them as valid reasons keeps me where I am. For transformation, I must realize that when I want to change, many reasons for staying the same are actually excuses.
There will always be a birthday party. I always can’t do the 6 AM martial arts class because I need my energy for being a father and coach. I will always deserve to eat out after a hard day of work. I will always have a beloved friend or family member that could use my help with something.
I didn’t realize how much sacrifice change actually requires, and how much I don’t want to make—or am scared to make—some of those sacrifices in normal life. However, if I want to be more successful, fit, and out of debt, I need to say no and I must be more creative with and aware of how I interweave desires and use my time. And that’s just the bottom line. Otherwise, I’m just going to find as many valid excuses as I want to, believe them, and never change anything.
So far I’ve lost only one pound, but I’ve gotten eight new clients.
So I pose to you a couple of questions. What’s a place you struggle to make changes? Then, what’s one valid reason you have for your current behavior that could actually be an excuse keeping you from transforming?
Love,
Aaron
